Sleep without rocking, breastfeeding, or crying! A parent's life can change in 2 weeks
MILLİYET.COM.TR SPECIAL / The journey of parenthood brings with it immense responsibilities, along with indescribable joys. One of the most challenging issues, especially during infancy, is undoubtedly sleep . Many problems that people think, "It's just a baby, sleeplessness is normal," can actually be solved with the right approach. Baby Sleep Consultant Pınar Sibirsky candidly shares the process she shares with struggling parents in her book , "Is Your Baby Sleeping?", published by Can Publications.
Despite graduating from the Faculty of Economics and Administrative Sciences , Pınar Sibirsky decided to pursue a completely different field after the birth of her daughter. She completed a master's degree in 0-3 year old development in the US and specialized in infant sleep. She has provided counseling to more than 6,000 families since 2011. We spoke with her about the importance of healthy sleep patterns for babies and the most common sleep problems and solutions.
This interview is a guide not only for parents exhausted by sleep deprivation, but also for anyone who wants to best support their baby's development.
You're a graduate of Economics and Administrative Sciences. So, how did your story of babies and sleep begin, and how did it take shape? Could you briefly tell us?
The sleepless nights that began with the birth of my daughter, Maya, helped me understand the importance of sleep in babies. It was 2011. Unable to find a specialist to consult with, I decided to specialize in this area and began training. I completed my master's degree in the US in mental development for children aged 0-3, and since 2011, I've counseled more than 6,000 families on how to help their babies sleep uninterrupted through the night.
I'd like to start by discussing the importance of sleep. How does quality sleep affect both the baby's mental and physical development and the family's well-being?
It's the foundation of mental and physical development for babies, and patience and peace for parents. While sleeplessness is natural between 0 and 4 months, it's a condition that can be addressed starting in the fourth month; in other words, going months or years without sleep is never a requirement for raising a baby. I've been creating content on various platforms for years to share this information, working to ensure both babies and parents get the sleep they need.
Parents can seek out a variety of training programs for their children's development. How do you evaluate sleep training's place among these programs? What would you say to those who ask, "Can sleep training be a thing?"
Yes, it's possible. Just as children learn to eat , they can also learn healthy sleep habits. As long as parents are aware of this.
What method do you use for baby sleep training? The main goal of this method is to help your baby fall asleep on their own.
I implement and recommend soft transition training models based on age, temperament, and family values, and based on building trust. The goal is for your baby to fall asleep peacefully and unsupported in their crib and to sleep 10-12 hours uninterrupted throughout the night (with appropriate sleep schedules for their age, and the ability to go back to sleep on their own, even if they wake up).
What problems do parents often encounter when applying for sleep training? What mistakes are most common?
Nighttime awakenings due to assisted sleep, difficulty transitioning to sleep, short daytime naps, early morning waking problems…
'A TOO TIRED BABY GETS RESTING'
Why don't babies sleep during the newborn period? Can sleep training be started during this period ?
The biological clock hasn't matured yet. A baby between 0 and 3 months old is still getting used to the world, and regular sleep isn't the goal.
It's something families hear from their friends and family: "If you tire your child, they'll sleep better." Pre-sleep baths, physical activities... What advice would you give them on this?
Quite the opposite. An overtired baby sleeps restlessly. A "just right amount of tiredness" is necessary to fall asleep.
Are every baby's signals for falling asleep the same, or do they vary? What is the importance of establishing a routine?
No. Some rub their eyes, some go quiet, some cry. It's important to try to understand the baby's signals.
There are babies who cannot fall asleep without sucking or bottle feeding, and who can only sleep as long as their mother is with them...
This is a habit. It can be changed by putting some distance between eating and sleeping.
What is the ideal sleeping position for babies? What should you consider when choosing a bed? What features should a child's sleep room have that you consider essential?
20–22°C room, dark environment, a firm baby bed, soothing music if necessary.
What role does a pacifier play in falling asleep? Is it helpful in establishing a sleep routine, or is it addictive?
The sucking reflex is high in the newborn period, and a pacifier is beneficial. After four months, if one is used, it should only be used during sleep, and the baby should be able to control it on their own.
Who should provide sleep training to babies? Can working mothers also provide sleep training to their babies? How does the process work? How long does it take to complete the training?
Of course. If all caregivers follow the same method, the system will be established within 2 weeks.
Unfortunately, sleep is often perceived as a process that must always be handled by the mother. Does the father not have a role in sleep training, or to what extent should he be involved in the process?
It's huge. Fathers often have an easier time progressing through the training than mothers. The absence of the milk smell and the father's calmness can make it easier for the baby to fall asleep in their crib.
Should twins and triplets sleep in the same room or in separate rooms? Parents often worry that siblings will wake each other up.
They'll always sleep and wake up together in the same room, getting used to each other's voices. Again, two weeks is plenty. I think sleep training is a must, especially for families raising two or three babies simultaneously.
'LET THEM SLEEP AND GROW, OUR LULLABIES ARE NOT IN VAIN'
Why do babies wake up crying? During this phase, we usually try to calm our babies down by rocking and cuddling them. What steps can be taken to break this cycle?
Usually because they haven't completed their sleep cycle. Sometimes they'll say, "I'm awake, come get me." If they've slept enough, we can get them out of bed. If they've slept for less than necessary, we can give them time and gentle support to extend their sleep.
What advice would you give to couples raising children with the support of grandparents or caregivers to easily get their sleep schedule back on track?
All caregivers should follow the same system. Your baby's sleep schedule, routines, and sleep patterns should be maintained independently of each person. Consistency among caregivers is crucial for a healthy sleep pattern.
Finally, what would you like to say to parents who are having trouble sleeping, both for themselves and their babies?
Sleep isn't a luxury for babies; it's a basic need. The lullabies we sing, "Let them sleep so they can grow," aren't for nothing. From the age of four months, every baby can learn to sleep uninterrupted in their crib with patience, consistency, and scientifically based training.
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