Seven reasons why some people only talk about themselves, according to a psychiatrist

There are people who can't help it: in any context or situation, they have to talk about themselves incessantly. A psychiatrist has revealed six reasons why they act this way in a YouTube video.

Dr. Sohom Das is a London-based forensic psychiatrist who also runs a self-titled YouTube channel. He shares content on criminology, mental health conditions, and psychology, among other topics.

"We've all met and been bored by people who only talk about themselves. Here are seven possible underlying psychological factors that explain their behavior," he says.

"Personally, I think this is one of the ugliest traits in conversation, where it really stands out when I meet a new person for the first time, but they're only talking about themselves," Das adds.

Narcissism

According to Das, narcissism is probably the main reason why people only talk about themselves: "People with narcissistic personality traits often have inflated self-esteem and a deep need for admiration."

"They may view conversations not as a two-way street for entertaining, educating, or stimulating each other , or even as a way for two old friends to reconnect... but simply as opportunities to showcase their accomplishments without considering the perspectives of others," the psychiatrist says.

Lack of empathy

People with empathy issues "may have difficulty understanding or considering the feelings and experiences of the other person, who finds them boring when they're chatting," according to the psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist adds that his primary focus is on his own inner world and needs. Das explains that while there is some overlap with narcissism, it is not exactly the same, as "narcissism is about showing off and seeking admiration , while a lack of empathy could simply be not caring about the other person's problems or opinions."

Insecurity

"Surprisingly, self-centered behavior can sometimes stem from an underlying insecurity, so constant self-promotion may be a way to seek validation and approval, compensating for feelings of inadequacy," says Das.

So, upon hearing this, you might think, "Wait a minute, this sounds similar to narcissism," but it's actually the opposite. Narcissists feel superior, but also insecure. They overcompensate because they feel inferior.

Poor social skills

Dr. Das explains that some people simply lack the social skills necessary to engage in two-way conversation.

This means they may have difficulty interpreting social cues , understanding conversational turns, and showing genuine interest in others.

"For example, some people with autism have difficulty understanding social cues (...) I'm not referring to all people with autism, I'm just saying it's a common trait," says the psychiatrist.

Alternatively, it could be a person who simply hasn't integrated into society. Perhaps they had very peculiar parents and generally didn't interact with other people during their childhood, so they weren't able to practice the art of conversation.

Attention seeking

"In some cases, self-centered behavior may be a way of seeking attention and validation, but not necessarily admiration," says Dr. Das.

"That's the difference. It's very similar to narcissism, but the difference is that they don't necessarily need to be admired. They just want to be noticed. For example, the class clown who doesn't mind being laughed at or bullied, as long as they're not ignored," he says.

Depression

"I have to say this is unusual, but depression can lead to negative cognitions and nihilistic thoughts. So, the person might constantly talk about their problems. They might complain about their life, but it could be because they feel so much misery and dejection that they just want to vent as a form of catharsis," Das explains.

The psychiatrist adds that in this case, the individual might feel so pessimistic that "he simply doesn't care whether he's being entertained in conversation or not."

He is a boring person

The psychiatrist then lists his seventh additional reason, which comes from his clinical experience: that some people only talk about themselves because their interlocutor is boring.

"Perhaps in other social situations, this individual is charming and interactive, but gets very little from you, or you never reveal any personal information, or perhaps your opinions are so bland or even offensive that they literally just fill the space, filling the gaps in the conversation," he concludes.