My GP laughed and said ‘you DO know how old you are?’ when I shared my dream of having a baby – I was 44
WHEN Liberty Mills, 50 was told the news that she had a 0.7 per cent of conceiving, even with IVF, she was devastated.
Her GP practically laughed her out the office.
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“I will never forget her asking, ‘You DO know how old you are, don’t you?’,” says Liberty.
But she wasn’t going to let it blight her hopes.
“Before exploring other fertility avenues or adoption, we decided to try a different approach, integrating different practices into our lives,” Liberty says.
“Four months later, I fell pregnant naturally.”
It was two weeks before her 45th birthday that Liberty would give birth to her healthy baby girl, Lani.
Some 3.5 million people in the UK go through some kind of fertility challenge, according to the Fertility Network, with 10 million couples encountering problems having a baby.
Liberty, who lives in Yorkshire, already had a daughter with a previous partner, but was keen to have another when she met her new partner.
She writes: “I met Benjamin when I was 41 and we decided we wanted a child together.
“When we consulted our local GP for fertility tests, she cast doubt upon our chances, immediately questioning my age and almost laughed us out of her office.”
The couple undertook a series of tests at an IVF clinic which revealed catastrophic news.
Liberty explained: “My right ovary had stopped functioning and was ‘barren’ - their words, not mine.
“The other had a few viable follicles.
“The magic number was not so magic at all - I was given a 0.7 per cent chance of conceiving with my own eggs.”
So Liberty knuckled down on her lifestyle to boost her fertility.
“I was a stressed-out self-employed single mum,” she admits.
“There is so much pressure and negativity around fertility over 35.
“Even when we got a positive pregnancy test, we didn’t celebrate, as society echoes that you are more likely to have a miscarriage at a certain age.
“But I carried on with all I had learnt in my studies as an integrative nutrition coach and finally at the 20 week scan, it was only then the relief came and we cried and hugged holding our scan picture.”
Liberty’s daughter is now five years old.
You would not enter a marathon without tweaking a few lifestyle factors... and pregnancy is the biggest natural endurance known to humanity.
Liberty Mills
Her experience led her to help other struggling couples - around one in seven will have difficulty conceiving, according to the NHS.
She works as a certified integrative health coach specialising in fertility, particularly unexplained infertility and male factor infertility.
“Over the past five years I have coached couples and individuals on their fertility journeys, achieving a success rate of over 90 per cent,” Liberty claims.
“There is a cookie-cutter approach to fertility and especially IVF, and it's not that simple.
“If it were, the IVF results of a live birth would be fewer rounds and more babies.
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“Our reproductive system does not function in isolation - a healthy lifestyle dictates how certain hormones are expressed and how nutrients are absorbed.
“You would not enter a marathon without tweaking a few lifestyle factors and investing in nutrition, and pregnancy is the biggest natural endurance known to humanity.”
In her book, 360 Fertility: A twelve-week plan for optimising your chance of conception, out May 22, Liberty reveals the things that worked for her.
DRINKING alcohol can affect fertility, the NHS says, including affecting sperm quality.
"I encourage my clients to remove all alcohol,” says Liberty.
“Not simply due to the fact that alcohol has zero nutritional value, but also that it affects sleep quality.”
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Liberty gave up alcohol to help her fertility and now, still only has one or two drinks a year.
“It was hard to show people I would still be fun and I would still want to go out.
“It’s easier now for some people with alcohol-free beer and even alcohol free parties at clubs.
“But you don’t need to stay in and be a hermit - simply make different choices about how you meet with friends.”
LIBERTY already had a relatively healthy diet but she cut the unnecessary ultra-processed foods from her diet - for example. the biscuits, cheeky slice of cake or muesli for breakfast.
“Fertility foods to rotate include avocado, bone broth, dark berries, dark leafy greens, eggs, gluten-free oats, lentils, oily fish, pomegranate, radish and sweet potato,” she says.
“Enjoy meals such as eggs and spinach for breakfast, a warm homemade chicken wrap for lunch and casserole for dinner.”
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She also recommends adding turmeric to the diet, as it can help lower inflammation.
“Inflammation in the body contributes to failure of implantation. You can add turmeric to spice cookies, porridge, smoothie and curries - or take a supplement.”
BEING a healthy weight can help with fertility, the NHS says.
Liberty says: “Research suggests that moderate exercise, such as brisk walking, cycling or swimming, can improve fertility in both men and women by boosting overall health and increasing the quality of sperm and eggs.
“The fitter you are now, especially if you are a woman, the more likely it is that you will have an easier pregnancy and a smoother delivery.
“If you find movement overwhelming, don’t rush to join the gym or force yourself to do an hour a day.
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Many factors can affect a couple's chances of conceiving, such as your age, health, reproductive health and how often you have sex.
Some people get pregnant quickly, but for others it can take longer. It's a good idea to see a GP if you have not conceived after a year of trying.
Women aged 36 and over, and anyone who's already aware they may have fertility problems, should see their GP sooner.
Fertility decreases with age for women and birthing people, particularly after the age of 35, because the number and quality of eggs gets lower.
The following shows how many women and birthing people will get pregnant within one year of having regular, unprotected sex:
- aged under 30: 85 out of 100 will conceive within a year
- at age 30: 75 out of 100 will conceive within a year
- at age 35: 66 out of 100 will conceive within a year
- at age 40: 44 out of 100 will conceive within a year
“Little and often helps; incorporate movement into your everyday life by going for a walk after dinner, taking the stairs rather than an escalator and doing some squats while waiting for the kettle to boil. “
Liberty recommends women try exercising in line with their menstrual cycle, as energy levels fluctuate from week to week.
Opt for gentle, low-impact exercise, like walking, yoga or swimming, in the week before your period.
Just before, and during your period, stick to exercises like stretching and Pilates.
Build up to high-intensity workouts like strength training and circuits, in the middle of your cycle.
LIBERTY tells her clients to drink at least two litres of water per day because “hydration is key to female and male fertility”.
“Keeping hydrated is important for nourishing the fluid around your Fallopian tubes and the fluid levels in the endometrium as it prepares to look after your foetus,” she says, adding that she chose to have only filtered water.
“To support optimal sperm health, it’s crucial for men to stay properly hydrated.
“Dehydration can hinder the body’s natural detoxification processes, which are essential for reducing the toxic burden and ultimately boosting sperm count and sperm quality.”
If you are exercising, you should be drinking more to replace the moisture you have lost
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THE NHS reports that stress can, in severe cases, affect ovulation and sperm production.
It can also impact your relationship with your partner, which makes you less interested in sex.
Liberty says she journalled every morning as a de-stressing technique.
But she also believes in breathwork.
“The key lies in the balance between our sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems,” she says.
“When we breathe incorrectly, our sympathetic nervous system, also known as our ‘fight or flight’ response, is triggered.
“The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for a lot of chaos in our bodies, and can lead to stress, anxiety and hormonal imbalances.
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“This can negatively impact fertility, making it more challenging to conceive.
“When we breathe correctly, more nasally and into the belly first rather than shallow chest breathing, our parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for relaxation and calmness, is activated, promoting a more fertile environment.
“Make a conscious effort to breathe correctly first thing in the morning (in and out through your nose, allowing your chest and abdomen to naturally rise and fall), check in a few more times during the day, and then again before sleep.”
BEFORE changing her lifestyle, Liberty says: “In the week I was asleep by 9-10pm, but on the weekend, I would be up till 1-2am.
“I started sleeping the same time every night and getting up the same time every morning.”
Getting enough sleep won’t just help with fertility, but your drive to actually have sex.
Liberty says: “When we are deprived of adequate sleep, both in quantity and quality, the body produces more stress hormones.
“This isn’t just harmful to overall health; it can disrupt oestrogen, testosterone and other reproductive hormone levels.
“Clinical research suggests that the body’s internal clock, the circadian rhythm, is linked to reproductive hormones that stimulate ovulation in women and influence sperm maturation in men.
“If you don’t have a regular sleep pattern, you are directly interfering with this delicate and precise process.
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“This can contribute to menstrual irregularities in women, making it challenging to predict ovulation, which is a crucial part of planning conception.
“When you work crazy hours, you are often too fatigued to have sex or you may not even be in the same space to have sex.”
Good sleep can also help swimmers, Liberty claims.
“It’s not just the ladies, it’s men too.
“Poor sleep quality can result in unhealthy sperm, reducing the chances of successful fertilisation and increasing the risk of complications or unviable embryos; therefore, it could be a contributing factor in failure of implantation in natural conception.”
Struggle with your sleep?
“Weighted blankets have been shown to improve sleep quality and reduce restlessness and anxiety,” says Liberty.
This is an edited extract taken from 360 Fertility: A twelve-week plan for optimising your chance of conception by Liberty Mills (Headline Home, £16.99), published on 22 May
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What unlikely smell is a real turn-on?
Bacon - The best brekkie to light your fire, is a trusty bacon sarnie according to 13 per cent of respondents to a survey.
Not only does it taste great, two to three rashers will give your body up to a quarter of its recommended daily allowance of the mineral selenium – shown to help men last longer between the sheets.
Armpits - more specifically the unwashed kind. The scent of androstanol, a pheromone found in fresh male sweat, has been shown to increase female desire for up to an hour, say scientists at the University of California.
Beetroot - This root vegetable may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you fancy getting randy, but the purple salad favourite has been shown to pack an erotic punch by boosting blood circulation.
Eau de garage - You don't need to splash out on the most expensive cologne or aftershave to get yourself noticed and desired by the opposite sex, fellas. Petrol, paint, ink, leather, and strawberries are said to drive women wild, research has revealed.
Oats - If you want to sow your oats, first you must eat them. Oats are rich in amino acid L-arginine which increases blood flow to the genital areas of both men and women and also boosts testosterone levels which can increase female libido and help men suffering from erectile dysfunction.
Shiraz - Good sex can be had after a glass or two of red, scientists will have you know. The moderate tipple is linked to higher sexual desire and better overall sexual function, a 2009 study revealed.
Takeaways - Research found couples who ate fish twice a week or more had sex 22 per cent more often. To spice things up with a curry, look out for dishes containing methi leaves, found to increase arousal in both sexes by as much as 26 per cent.
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