Why are relationships short-lived in the modern age?
In the modern age, a large portion of bilateral relations begin without establishing a bond and end just as quickly. Intolerance and putting personal priorities ahead of the relationship, the inability to establish real communication despite the constant connection brought by the digital age, in other words, deep miscommunication, lack of empathy and impatience in the communication age are among the main factors that wear down relationships.
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aycan Koç said, "Unfortunately, in today's relationships, both parties often feel lonely. In relationships, strategy is no longer the determining factor, but sincerity. Even when people approach someone, they act with calculations such as "how do I look, am I getting enough attention, how will I recover if I lose?" On the other hand, the destructive effect of social media on relationships cannot be ignored. Because today, relationships are no longer experienced only between two people; the search for visibility, likes and approval has also been included in the process. Not being tagged in a story, not sharing a photo taken together or even a late message can easily cause the relationship to be deeply shaken."
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aycan Koç, who stated that this situation is especially evident in Generation Z, explained 6 common mistakes that are destroying bilateral relations today.
CONSIDERING CRITICISM AS COMMUNICATIONMany people are actually judging the other person when they express their discomfort. Instead of saying, "This behavior affected me," using the phrases "You've always been like this" turns communication into an attack, not a solution. Clinical Psychologist Aycan Koç said, "When criticism does not include an awareness based on emotion, it causes defense. An approach that constantly sees your partner as inadequate also devalues the relationship after a while. Communication is not about blaming, it is about sharing."
KEEPING YOUR DISTANCE BY BEING SILENTSilence is not always calmness, it is often distancing. "I have nothing to talk about", "You don't understand anyway", "What difference does it make?" Behind these types of sentences is usually an attitude that feeds not on solutions but on separation. Every issue that is not spoken about accumulates over time and silently consumes the relationship. Relationships live as long as emotions can circulate.
HUMILIATING YOUR PARTNER IN PUBLICMaking fun of your partner in front of others, criticizing them indirectly, or belittling them undermines the foundation of trust in the relationship. What is even more damaging is the following sentence that follows this behavior: "You're so touchy, I was just joking." It is not the hurt experienced in the relationship, but the blame you get for expressing that hurt that creates the real wound. Respect is as restorative as love in a relationship.
The phrase "Accept me as I am" is often resistance to change. However, a relationship is strengthened by the development of both parties together. An identity structure that remains fixed turns the relationship into an area that cannot be stretched over time. And every structure that cannot be stretched breaks at the first shock.
EXPECTING TO BE UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT NAMED EMOTIONS"He should understand before I tell him", "If he loves, he will feel" These types of thoughts romanticize emotional expectations and ignore communication. However, every feeling that is not expressed turns into resentment over time. Relationships are strengthened by openness, not by intuition.
FALLING INTO THE DIGITAL TRAPKoç said, "Social media has not only made it easier to meet; it has also diminished the value of establishing a bond. Now, instead of looking for a solution when there is a problem with someone, the idea of "someone else who can be replaced" comes into play. Relationships are exhausted before they deepen, and giving up at a "blockage" moment is easier than waiting. Because in the digital age, there is a perception that everyone is reachable but no one is indispensable. On the other hand, with the desire for visibility and being liked taking precedence over relationships; not being tagged in a story, not sharing a photo taken together, or even a message that arrives late can easily cause a relationship to be deeply shaken. However, a relationship is experienced more with how it feels on the inside than how it looks on the outside. A bond is established not with admiration, but with trust."
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