Photographer captured a hundred penises and spoke to the owners: 'Many men are dissatisfied with the length'
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More than half the world's population has one: a penis. But according to photographer John Wiersma (43), we're all still making things pretty complicated about the young man. He photographed and spoke with a hundred penis-bearers and compiled their stories in his aptly titled book: Hey Dick.
We can beat around the bush, but you either have a penis or a vagina. Yes, you too, let's just call a spade a spade. That's exactly what Wiersma advocates for when it comes to the male genitals. Because being truly open and honest about it turns out to be a bit of a challenge when it comes to penises. Belgian sexologist Goedele Liekens previously opened up about the "ideal penis."
Wiersma explains that a conversation with his girlfriend was the trigger for his book. "She once said that a flaccid penis is an ugly thing. I wondered: 'Is that really true?' Years ago, I remember finding a booklet at the De Expo store chain with all sorts of flaccid penises in it, but it lacked the stories behind the penis. I decided to document penises myself. This time, I wanted to make it a more human book. A book that breaks the taboo surrounding penises. A book that steered clear of porn, eroticism, and sexism. With a photo that captures the penis as it is 99 percent of the day: at rest. Just a body part, like an ear or nose. Yet, there's a taboo surrounding penises. We rarely talk about them, and when we do, men are mostly 'well-endowed' and have a 'third leg.' But we don't hear that it doesn't function properly, can leak urine, or is small."
The photographer posted a call on LinkedIn asking men to have their penises photographed. "I did wonder beforehand: 'Who would respond to that?' But I got a lot of responses, and my call got a lot of attention. Friends and acquaintances of mine also decided to participate. One of them was a friend I'd known for 25 years, but I'd never heard his story about it. It took a bit more effort to find people in their twenties, thirties, and forties. I was looking for a diverse group of penis-wearers, but I didn't want to discriminate between their stories. I considered any story brave enough."
A hundred men in a photo studio dropping their pants—wasn't that strange? "It's an intimate process, of course, but it also quickly became normal. I was the first to go. One candidate was eager, another genuinely wanted to tell their story. It was a human experience."
Wiersma recalls several stories that really resonated with him. "The man on the cover of the book is now in his late 30s. But when he was 15, he had a skateboarding accident. He was in pain and came home to find himself covered in blood and with a large gash in his penis. He chose not to tell anyone, not even a doctor or his parents. In retrospect, the gash should have been stitched, but he kept it to himself. I found that so awful. That you, a 15-year-old boy, are alone in your room in so much pain. Fortunately, it healed for him, but at that moment, he experienced so much fear. Whether he would still be able to urinate, have children, or ever have sex. That underlying shame made quite an impression on me."
The photographer continues: "Another man came into the photo studio, and at first, I couldn't see anything unusual about him. But as I went along, I discovered he was very vain. It turned out he'd been trying to make his penis 'beautiful' from a young age. He'd been circumcised during puberty and again later in life. He'd also had his hair down there lasered and had fillers injected into his glans twice a year. It was supposed to keep his glans firm. I thought that was odd; why would you do that? But this man wanted his penis to be beautiful. You couldn't tell from the outside that he was so vain under his clothes."
One of the first models turned out to have been sexually abused in a hot tub. It had impacted his sexual relations for years. So much so that he barely dared to touch them. All stories remain anonymous, but during my conversations with other men, three others told me for the first time in their lives that they had experienced something similar. Of the one hundred people I spoke to, four openly told me about the abuse. But how many hadn't told me? And what if I had spoken to a thousand people? That really haunts me.
After a hundred conversations and photos, Wiersma discovered that "a lot" of men are dissatisfied with the length of their penis. "I never really focused on it myself, but many men feel a great deal of shame. Although I thought more men were dissatisfied with an erect penis, it turned out that many men were actually dissatisfied with the flaccid state. Many men have that feeling that when their penis is stiff and ready, they're quite happy with it. But I was surprised that the relaxed state still carries a heavy burden. Constantly being preoccupied with how your own penis hangs and how big someone else's is, and the insecurity that comes with it." But why are men so preoccupied with this? "I don't know. Perhaps it has something to do with how men behave, or what's expected of them. Or how we define masculinity in this society."
"Penis wearers find it important that their genitals are 'normal'. Is it too big? Too small? Or are there other comments or remarks? That's where insecurity comes in. If you look at art and sculpture in Italy, a small penis was long considered beautiful. But nowadays, a smaller penis isn't good enough. Sex has always been around, but I do think that social media and the endless amount of porn available for the taking don't have a positive effect on our image of penises. Perhaps we've come to see it as too much of a benchmark. But the penises in porn are specifically selected for that purpose. You'll be disappointed if you start measuring yourself against them."
According to the photographer, there's still room for improvement. "I think it's important, and I try to teach my children this, that you're good the way you are. That you learn to be happy with how you look. My eldest daughter is 16 and sees big breasts and inked-up lips on TikTok and Snapchat. It's easy to tinker with yourself these days. But we are who we are and we have to learn to appreciate how we look. That's why it's so important that we keep talking to each other, and I hope to do that with my book."
And for every penis-bearer who's questioning their own penis? John Wiersma concludes: "Penis come in all shapes and sizes. Regardless of age, culture, or background. It's not a given that someone of Asian descent has a smaller penis and a man from the Antilles has a 'third leg.' Every penis is unique. They look alike, but they all have their own story. Be more open about that and don't jump to conclusions too quickly. Be happy you have a penis. And no, you're not the only one who's insecure. Be open to other people's stories. There are so many other men with the same thoughts and struggles. Try to challenge yourself to push the boundaries a bit more and be a bit more open."
Metro Holland